40 things you’d like to say out loud at work

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learned to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here, I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Eternal Punishment, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office, it's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder --- my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

Where have you been??

That is definitely the question. My this summer has gotten crazy!
I've been being very busy keeping up with the kids and the husband and the house!
Life is tolerable and much better than earlier.
I have window airconditioners! That makes it very nice in the house.
I have great friends who are looking out for me--finding opportunities for us to earn a few extra dollars, providing us with yummy tomatoes, finding appliances to make up for the missing the ones that are dying/dead.
Getting ready for the last month of summer vacation for my soon-to-be 2nd grader. Creating some fun paper crafty things--will take some pictures this weekend and post tuesday. Sorting and cleaning and moving things around in the house and outside. Enjoying my silly kids and my hard-working husband. Reading the new Harry Potter. Enjoying the unusually cool weather and thanking the goddess that it has been pleasant for us.
Hope all is well with all of you.

Lammas

Happy Harvest!

Some fun things to read on Lammas:
Two Witches Blog
School of the Seasons
The Magical Cat
The Cyber Witch
Mything Links
Web Holidays

It’s COMING!!

It's Wednesday. Three more days and it'll be in my hands!!

The NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK! The LAST Harry Potter book. I'm conflicted.

I just saw the movie this past weekend for Order of the Phoenix and there were details that I thought were important and apparently I'm the only one that did! They were not there! The movie in and of itself was great…if you had never read the book. The characters were dead on. The basics of the plot were there. I know…it's hard to put that many pages on the screen in under 3 hours. Still loved it…just wished there was more.

Now…the new book…I might take my husband to work on Friday night so that I can make it to the midnight unveiling!! Wouldn't that be fun?? My son would probably think I'm crazy! He already does! J Then I could stay up and read while my husband works and then take my copy to work and read some more! I know patrons will be storming the doors in the morning to get the book!

Here's a fun link to things Harry: KidsReads

 

"I'm an aerodynamenator swiming machine!"

After a fun afternoon of swimming at the university swimming pool--my son, so proud that he had jumped off the diving board and into the 12 foot diving pool--announced from the back seat :

I'm an aerodynamenator swimming machine!

Chickens Running at Large

previously posted on a message board as a happy for a friend. This still brings amusement to my life so I wanted to repost on my blog. Written in Spring of 2003 after learning of my 1st miscarriage.
We used to have chickens....in the city.
When I was working on my Master's Degree I would go do research on the weekend in Austin. One day while I was down there...my husband calls and says "I think we have this chicken living in our garage." Well when I came home that Sunday, we went to the garage to see. Sure enough, there was this bird that resembled a chicken that looked like it had been through the fan. We let her into the back yard and started calling her FRED.
Well Fred started laying eggs--Fredrika. We weren't aware of how long she'd been there or if she'd had a rooster near her. We learned that chickens will sit eggs until they hatch. If they don't hatch they keep sitting and get depressed and could die. So...not wanting a depressed chicken on our hands, we swapped out her eggs with some that we knew were fertile--had a friend who lived in the country and who had chickens and geese.
So two baby chicks hatched out and Fred was happy. One drowned in the dog water--did I mention we'd never had chickens before and had no idea that we needed chick feeders and waterers? So Fred and Baby Huey were happy and ran the backyard together.
Well then my Mom calls one day and my Dad had had a stroke. So I left the house and went to Arlington to help Mommie and be with my Dad. While I'm there, my husband calls and asks my Mom if she thinks I'll be too mad to learn that he's been to the flea market and bought some more hens and a rooster to keep Fred and Baby Huey company--they looked lonely he says. I just shook my head and rolled my eyes. My Dad made a full recovery by the way.
SO....as time passes we have baby chicks, sell baby chicks, buy baby chicks...blah blah blah. Occassionally the neighbors dogs might take off through the flock and kill one or two or they'd show up missing and you'd just know they went off and died.
Well...we were down to one lonely chicken. The city ordinances had changed and we were told that we could let our old chicken (her feathers were grey she was so old) live out the rest of her little life if we kept her from running amok and getting the animal control out there. So we made her stay near the house and she was good.
Then about 2½ months ago [originally written in April 2003]...6 more chickens show up! Now I know they're not her babies as there's no rooster and these chickens are distinctly not her breed! I found out yesterday that the neighbor on the corner who is an A$$ had them and didn't want them so he gave them to our neighbors little girl and she wasn't taking care of them so they started roosting in our tree and hanging around our old grey bird. Anyway, we're not feeding them or watering them and they are just hanging out at our house. We've tried catching them and can't. Animal control had been by once to talk with us about them and we encouraged him to try catching them and taking them away as they're not ours and we don't want them anymore as you're not supposed to have chickens IN THE CITY!! So...we've never caught them--they're too fast and they don't always roost in the same place.
So I come home yesterday after my appointment and find a CITATION on the door for "4 chickens RUNNING AT LARGE!" HA! I take a moment to talk to the Animal Control officer--Officer Whitely--and tell him about these chickens that aren't ours. Invite him to catch them. He says they're too fast. He tells us that it's suspicious because they run to our back yard for shelter--WE HAVE NO FENCE! So he says "we could shoot them." I remind him of the law about discharging firearms in the city limits. He says "HE" will shoot them...I say, "alright." Then he tells me that with dogs...if they're at your residence for 72 hours they're considered yours even though you're not feeding them, watering them, or giving them care! He's not sure what the deal is with chickens.
The complaintant --RP=Reporting Party--is upset as they get in her birdbath and eat her bird seeds and dig in her flowerbeds!!! HELLO!!! Sounds like she's the one feeding them!!! In the meantime ... our little grey hen has gone off and not come back. It's been 3 weeks or more so we suspect she's dead. As a result of our CITATION, my husband and I are spending my lunch at the judges office denying guilt for chickens RUNNING AT LARGE! HA! The funny part is this could go to court if they RPs make a sworn statement! Can you imagine the judge! I think he'd laugh us out of court! I'll kill'em before that happens--the chickens that is, not the neighbors!
post note: We went to the cattle call for citations that would later be tried. We were the LAST ones in a long list of cited. We talked with the city attorney who decided there would really be no way of trying the case. He couldn't prove the chickens belonged to us. The chickens had been removed--thanks to my husband and a long-handled landing net. So he dismissed the charges.

Playful

Define Your Life

Yeah, I'm in trouble. My first scan of the new stampin up catalog I pick the most expensive stamp set in the book as my favorite! ha! In case you can't tell...it's got a word for each of the letters of the alphabet with a phonetic spelling and the definition. It's only 47.95! Very cool stamp set!

Addictions & Needs

Addictions

I have several…

food being one

Office Supplies

Scramper* Supplies

Books—old, new, all

Tables

Kitchen gadgets

$ Tree finds

Coffee

Tea

Chocolate

 

Needs

I have few…

Food

Love

Shelter

Clothing

 

Wants

I have many…

Too many to list.

Must remember Needs are the most important.

Hard to do with 2 new stamping catalogs coming out this month!

 

*scramper: one who stamps and scrapbooks…and stamps in their scrapbooks

Foodapalooza!

Foodapalooza!

I've been hungry for food lately—by that I mean that I just want home cooked food…not fast food…not restaurant food—food that requires bowls and sauces and cooking and cutting and mixing and baking/broiling. You know…FOOD. So…since we were going to be just "us" for the 4^th as my husband had to work I decided to make some food I'd been hungry for. When my son and I were done planning the menu, we had ribs, sausage, corn salad, broccoli salad, baked beans, squash casserole, and banana pudding. Of course there was enough food for 2 or 3 families of four but we'll have leftovers! YUM! It was ALL SO GOOD. My belly is happy. My refrigerator is happy. My family is happy!

moon

Last night's full moon...covered with clouds.

a chipboard anniversary!

Well…tomorrow is the 15^th anniversary of my wedding to my beloved husband! It's been an adventure. Due to the trials of this past 6 months financially [van, house, other], we will be having a quiet anniversary. That's needed, that's desired. We will play with the Cub Scouts [it's Den Night] and then we'll go home and sup on something simple and easy. The day will be romantic none-the-less…you don't have to spend to have a romantic time.

Out of curiosity I looked to see what the significance of 15 is to the rest of the world. While learning that the Fifteenth anniversary gift was Crystal, I became amused to find that for the 17^th anniversary my husband can give me CHIPBOARD! Won't he be excited about that!

Playful's Plaything

Playful spent most of this weekend leaping out from under the table and landing on the Charli dog. Charli is 16, blind, deaf...and not amused! Charli sighs, rolls her eyes and looks at me as if I have something to do with it! Playful is having a ball. The dog is her favorite toy!

Big Shot rocks!

Mommie tried running her Cuttlebug Embossing folder through the BigShot with CHIPBOARD! It worked!! I can't wait to get my own emboss folder and play with it. I loved the way it embossed cardstock and just had to know if it would do the chipboard. Yay, yay, yay. Maybe she'll send us a picture to post!!!
This is my new favorite toy!

Working on my Header...

Well...I've decided I want a picturesque header...I've been working on it. It's ok. I want it better. I will work on it more later when I can have some more helpful software. Right now I'm battling my computer to get *something*.

I like the picture. I like the text font [Cocaine Sans @ 1001freefonts.com].

perhaps I'll get the bugs worked out soon!

On Rain Clouds…

On rain clouds…

June

abundant rain

wild jungles in my yard

giant sunflowers provide shade

puddles bring pleasure to boy

promise of fresh vegetables from the garden

June

abundant repairs

van, dryer, water heater,

ceiling fan, television, shower, floor

raining under the house too

husband needing stitches

June

abundant thanks

family is healthy for the most part

the ceiling no longer leaks

all IS repairable—and just *things*

family and friends are a great comfort.

Happy Summer Solstice!

from Religious Tolerance.org site:

The Summer Solstice is also known as: Alban Heflin, Alben Heruin, All-couples day, Feast of Epona, Feast of St. John the Baptist, Feill-Sheathain, Gathering Day, Johannistag, Litha, Midsummer, Sonnwend, Thing-Tide, Vestalia, etc.
Overview
People around the world have observed spiritual and religious seasonal days of celebration during the month of June. Most have been religious holy days which are linked in some way to the summer solstice. On this day, typically JUN-21, the daytime hours are at a maximum in the Northern hemisphere, and night time is at a minimum. It is officially the first day of summer. It is also referred to as Midsummer because it is roughly the middle of the growing season throughout much of Europe.
"Solstice" is derived from two Latin words: "sol" meaning sun, and "sistere," to cause to stand still. This is because, as the summer solstice approaches, the noonday sun rises higher and higher in the sky on each successive day. On the day of the solstice, it rises an imperceptible amount, compared to the day before. In this sense, it "stands still."
(In the southern hemisphere, the summer solstice is celebrated in December, also when the night time is at a minimum and the daytime is at a maximum. We will assume that the reader lives in the Northern hemisphere for the rest of this essay.)
How people view solstice celebrations:
People view other religions in various ways, and thus treat the celebrations of other faiths differently:
For some people, religious diversity is a positive factor. They enjoy the variety of June celebrations, because it is evidence of wide range of of beliefs within our common humanity. They respect both their own religious traditions and those of other faiths for their ability to inspire people to lead more ethical lives.
Others reject the importance of all celebrations other than the holy day(s) recognized by their own religion. Some even reject their religion's traditional holy days if they are convinced that they have Pagan origins. This is a common occurrence with Easter and Christmas.
Some view other religions as being inspired, controlled, or even led by Satan. Thus the solstice celebrations of other religions are rejected because they are viewed as Satanic in origin.
Why does the summer solstice happen?
The seasons of the year are caused by the 23.5º tilt of the earth's axis. Because the earth is rotating like a top or gyroscope, the North Pole points in a fixed direction continuously -- towards a point in space near the North Star. But the earth is also revolving around the sun. During half of the year, the southern hemisphere is more exposed to the sun than is the northern hemisphere. During the rest of the year, the reverse is true. At noontime in the Northern Hemisphere the sun appears high in the sky during summertime, and low during winter. The time of the year when the sun reaches its maximum elevation occurs on the summer solstice -- the day with the greatest number of daylight hours. It typically occurs on, or within a day or two of, JUN-21 -- the first day of summer. The lowest elevation occurs about DEC-21 and is the winter solstice -- the first day of winter, when the night time hours reach their maximum.





Solstice at Stonehenge

Solstice at Astrological Musings

She Sleeps…

Most kitties when they are found face in the bowl are eating but not our newest family member. Last night I looked up from playing with my darling child long enough to notice that the kitten had fallen asleep in her food bowl—evidence that my son has been doing his job of playing with his kitten to wear her out so she will be ready for bed!

Fun with my new BigShot!

This page was done with my new BigShot from Sizzix/Ellison. I embossed punched out CM stars by gluing them onto a piece of paper and then putting the Outdoor denim cardstock on top of it and using the embossing platform with a cutting pad and embossing rubber & pad. VERY VERY fun. The night before I had out of curiosity embossed this and that to see if it would do what all they claim the Wizard does. It's awesome…embossed fibers/ribbons, templates, chipboard, punchies/diecuts…probably would have embossed the cat too if she would have sat still!

Then…I cut my new BIGZ die that came with the machine for the tag. I used the technique demonstrated at convention where you smudge on ink and them spritz it with water and dry the spots. Then I stamped with CTMH's new white pigment ink and the June Stamp of the Month. It turned out really cool.

Other things…circle punches and collage stamp coloring are typical watercolor techniques with watercolor pencils and shading. Glitter of course! All papers, inks and embellishments are CTMH except the yarn—bought on clearance at Hobby Lobby.

Hope you enjoy!

Pirattitude!

Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day. In honor of said day, me hubby and I celebrated with me lad's mates at his school. All pirates present were thilled. We got some ideas from the Talk Like a Pirate Day website and others from places here and there. We read stories and poems. We made them hats out of folded newspaper and cut out eyepatches from the website that had the Jolly Roger on it. They had cupcakes that had ship decks for icing [chocolate piped to look like planks of wood] and a flag on a trimmed down bamboo skewer. They made pirate parrot paper sack puppets. My son said they all had fun. The class told us thank you a dozen times over!

From this site you can take any number of quizzes or put your name in a "generator" and get "special piratey names."

One site called me: Crafty Gertrude Smithe

Another said this: Calico Grace Read
Often indecisive, you can't even choose a favorite color. You're apt to follow wherever the wind blows you, just like Calico Jack Rackham, your namesake. Even through many pirates have a reputation for not being the brightest souls on earth, you defy the sterotypes. You've got taste and education. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.

Good 'ay me mateys!